


being as in love with you as i am

by bisexualbluesargent



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbluesargent/pseuds/bisexualbluesargent
Summary: The one where Adam gets sick and Ronan takes care of him.





	being as in love with you as i am

Adam is not extremely focused today, which unsettles Ronan because Adam Parrish is always extremely focused.

"Get enough sleep last night, Parrish?" Ronan, as always, tries to be nonchalant about his concern for Adam's state of being. Cabeswater's trees are rustling in anticipation of a storm, whispering about prophecies too softly for him to hear.

Adam shoots him an annoyed look, nudging a rock a few inches to the left with his foot. "I'm feeling a little under the weather. Might go home early."

Ronan sees Gansey turn towards Adam out of the corner of his eye. "Are you feeling ill?" Gansey's mouth twists slightly in worry and Ronan snickers quietly at his use of the word _ill_ , watching Blue suppress a smile.

"Just a bit of a sore throat coming on. Nothing really." Adam's voice skitters between uncomfortable and reassuring.

Gansey makes a sympathetic sound. "Come to Monmouth and we can make you some tea with honey. Or some soup."

"You're such a mom, Gansey," snorts Blue, and Ronan watches Adam struggle again with his unwillingness to accept things from Gansey and his appreciation of his friend's kindness.

"I can give you a ride," says Ronan.

Adam meets his eyes now. "Okay," he says, slowly. "Okay."

Gansey beams, his face bright despite the clouds beginning to block out the sun above. "Great! Let's go, then. Wouldn't want you to get any sicker!" Blue and Ronan exchange a glance, and Ronan marvels at how he used to hate her.

Dick and Jane get in the Pig together, which Adam politely pretends not to notice. Ronan rolls his eyes as he slams the door of the BMW closed behind him. Adam shuts it, less angrily, and Ronan admires his ability to be so much and so little at the same time.

\---

"I can't be sick," says Adam from his bed. "I can't." It comes out more like a croak. Light filters in through the blinds of the solitary window Adam has and Ronan wonders why the fuck he still gets up this early for school, of all things. His brain immediately supplies Gansey's name and he shoves it all away before it can go any further.

"Well, you are, shithead. You can afford to miss a few days of school." Ronan doesn't know whether he says this to annoy Adam or to comfort him. St. Agnes is cold this morning and Ronan makes a mental note to pester Mrs. Ramirez about the heating as he studies the tarot cards laying on the floor, strewn with meanings he can't immediately understand.

Adam, predictably, gives Ronan a look and attempts to sit up. Ronan sees a shadow of a wince pass over his face that he quickly tries to hide. Ronan sighs dramatically and walks over there.

"If Gansey saw you like this, he'd stay by your bedside all day making sure you were resting," Ronan sneers, ignoring the fact that he's the one currently at Adam's bedside right now. He's trying to convince himself that it's not his problem that Adam has some kind of masochistic need to go to Aglionby but he doesn't feel like he's succeeding. Adam opens his mouth to retort but seems to think better of it, maybe because of the pain or maybe because he's not in the mood to deal with Ronan's shit this morning.

Adam lets out a long stream of air and leans back into the sheets. "I guess it'll just make it worse if I go," he mutters.

"That's the spirit, Parrish." Ronan gives him a sharp grin, then offers, "You can come to the Barns though, if you want. Stop by Monmouth and pick up some more of that shitty tomato soup that Blue made." Ronan knows there's nothing in Parrish's fridge right now except expired milk. "And it's not as cold."

Adam shifts a bit. Hesitates. "Uh, sure." He tries clearing his throat and it comes out as an awful sound reminiscent of a large animal choking on something. Ronan thinks that if being sick will always make Adam this accepting, it can't be that bad.

"Come on then," says Ronan, and Adam gets up again, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than usual against the freckles that dust his cheeks. Not that Ronan notices.

\---

Ronan had convinced Gansey that it was absolutely and totally necessary for him to stay at the Barns to take care of Adam, telling him that it was a Friday and that he wouldn't be missing that much, anyway. Ronan told himself this was all just an excuse to miss school, not because he was worried about Adam or anything. It was just a cold, or the flu or something but Adam looked like he was having the worst time he'd ever had and Ronan couldn't bring himself to look at him directly. So he stayed.

Ronan busies himself with his mother's chicken noodle soup recipe, a favorite among him and his brothers when they were small, while Adam lays on the couch in the living room, wrapped in blankets Ronan had found in random parts of the house since rejecting Ronan's offer to have him sleep in Declan's bed. He had run out of tomato soup almost immediately, giving Ronan the chance to avoid him in a less obvious way. There was something about Adam, sick, half there and half in a fever dream, vulnerable and quiet without really trying to be. Curling up in the covers and trying to show gratitude in his facial expressions when Ronan brought him a glass of water. Ronan wonders, absently, what he had been like when he was younger, if his mother had made him soup like this or if he just tried to go to school anyway, raising his hand to answer a question even though it hurt to speak. Ronan's chest fills up with something terrible and red and he wants to put his fist through a wall.

Noah's there, suddenly, and months ago Ronan would have jumped, swearing but now he simply mutters an appreciative "Czerny" before lifting up a spoonful to taste it. He finally turns to look at Noah and he has this smug look on his face that Ronan wishes he could get off him, somehow. "Stop reading my fucking mind," he says, and it's not too mean because Noah lets out a peal of laughter before walking out of the kitchen to do who knows what. Ronan scowls after him, pouring soup into a bowl and carrying it to Adam.

Who has fallen asleep.

The flu has made Adam paler than usual, but Ronan gives himself a moment to appreciate the angles of his cheekbones. The way the gray afternoon light falls over him and his messy hair and worn out pajamas as he breathes loudly with his mouth open. He only looks a little less stressed than he is when he is awake, but Ronan's heart gives a tug at the peacefulness of the room, the quietness.

The Barns lately have had a thick sort of silence that reminds Ronan of honey on his best days, and it's a kind of silence he has to push himself to disturb. He sets the bowl of soup on the table next to Adam and pokes his shoulder, feeling guilty but not sure what else to do. Adam's eyes flutter open, all eyelashes, while Ronan is telling himself to breathe.

"I made you soup," he says, his voice softer than he would like and he leaves the room before he can see Adam's expression.

\---

"It smells like shit in here," says Blue as she comes in, wrinkling her nose. Ronan huffs indignantly.

"Yeah, well, Adam hasn't really moved for like twenty four hours except to piss so it could be worse." Ronan closes the door behind Gansey, not too loudly because he's not sure if Adam's sleeping.

"Are you sure it's just the flu? I know it's the season for it but he just seems so-" Gansey gestures wildly.

"He'll be fine," says Ronan, roughly, because he has a pretty normal fever and doesn't look as bad as yesterday. Blue picks at the ends of her dress distractedly.

"We could all watch a movie," she suggests, and Ronan grunts his approval. Gansey's face lights up and of course Noah is here now, always in a hurry to appear at the mention of a movie or the presence of Blue.

Once they make sure Adam's awake Noah puts in the old VHS of Mulan that was in Matthew's room among a pile of other Disney classics. Ronan protests, a little, but his heart isn't in it because he really does love Mulan. Noah and Blue keep making comments about the soundtrack while Gansey listens, attentively, and Ronan, who is sitting next to Adam on the couch despite his contagious state, is finding it hard to not smile along with Adam's reactions to their jokes. Adam Parrish so rarely smiles and Ronan wants to keep these, these gentle, unconscious ones, preserved in his memory forever.

Ronan cackles at the worst times which makes Gansey either tut or join in, and it feels like it's been so long since they've done something this normal. And Adam's smiling. Eventually the credits are rolling and everyone's hooting and clapping, both rowdy and contained at once. Except for Adam, who fell asleep with his head on Ronan's shoulder a couple of scenes ago.

\---

Adam mostly only has a cough now and moves around the Barns to make his own food or eat whatever monstrosities Blue brings from Fox Way. He also takes showers now, long, hot ones, which Ronan frequently stops himself from thinking about too hard. Ronan and Adam have not spoken about the fact that Adam has stayed here overnight, twice, even though Ronan stays up at night thinking about it.

Ronan unabashedly watches Adam turn the pages of his reading assignment for English. His face is gaining color and his expressions are more alive than before, and Ronan decides he's missed that. Adam, so alive. Adam, so full of magic. Adam, who might like him back.

Ronan can't stop staring at his lips.

Adam lifts his eyes up to meet his, coughing into his elbow before saying, "Where'd you learn to make that soup? It's good."

Ronan crosses his legs in his chair and then uncrosses them. "My mom used to make it when we were sick."

"Ah," Adam says, the corners of his mouth twitching into an almost smile. Adam turns another page. "I want to say thank you. For, you know. Taking care of me."

Ronan swallows and nods. He recognizes some embarrassment in him, somewhere, because it wasn't really absolutely and totally necessary to do this but he couldn't stop thinking about how he had always had his parents, or Declan, to take care of him when he couldn't make it to school and the image of Adam, alone, stuffy and with only a couple thin blankets in St. Agnes was too much to bear.

Adam's cheeks dimple as he rests his head against the arm of the couch.

\---

Ronan does not want to go back to school tomorrow. It's Wednesday and Adam is completely better, telling Ronan that it was probably time for him to go. Gansey had been hinting at it for days now, mostly concerned about Ronan's attendance but had gone ignored.

Thunder was rumbling, somewhere, but it was dark enough outside that it was difficult to make out any clouds. Ronan, too busy watching Adam's hands as he closed the passenger door, had forgotten to put music on and curses himself for the noiselessness that seems to have filled up the car. Adam, apparently oblivious, is staring out the window, his face deep in thought. Ronan thinks he sees him touch his face to run his fingers against a branch or some leaves that aren't there, but he can't be sure.

If the Barns' silence is thick, Henrietta's at night is something you can grab with your hands. Ronan turns the engine off after he parks in front of the church. They sit there for a minute with the sound of their breathing.

When it becomes clear that Adam is not getting out, Ronan says, "Parrish."

Adam looks at him, eyes hooded. "Lynch," he says.

Ronan exhales, scratches the back of his neck as Adam gazes at him. He doesn't know what to say. Their relationship has become softer between the blankets and the hot tea that Ronan had made him, softer, but no less than it was, somehow.

Ronan unbuckles his seatbelt and kisses Adam Parrish.

It's lot like he imagined, he thinks, a lot like the kisses he watched in movies on his fullscreen TV with his family, careful and slow and curious. Adam is not pulling back and Ronan is on fire.

Except, now he is, and Ronan is embarrassed again and confused and mentally chastising himself because of course he wouldn't want this, of course he wouldn't want to change the friendship they already had. Ronan had assumed and now he's paying the consequences.

But Adam's laughing, actually, when he sees Ronan's expression and he grips his hand tightly. Ronan's eyes dart to where they connect. His hands are cold.

"I just don't want you to get sick," says Adam, and he's pulling Ronan into an embrace. Ronan smells faint, faint gasoline and sweat and he closes his eyes. It's safe here, he thinks. Nobody could ever get sick in Adam Parrish's arms. Ronan has a lot of nightmares, but Adam is a dream.

"Sniffing me, Lynch?" says Adam, and Ronan can almost hear his lips curling. Ronan pushes him away, glaring.

"Asshole," he says, but he follows Adam into St. Agnes anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sick right now and i thought of this, tbh it could've had a lot more but we're just gonna let it be lmao. i want to write more gangsey interactions
> 
> title is from angels by the xx


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